so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
