so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The adults are the big ones right?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
