you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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