did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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