We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
