Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
