So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
