i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
