As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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