Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just cropdusted the office
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
