Non-Jews are for practice
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
