I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
