that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
