i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
