i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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