Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I FOUND THE LEGS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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