Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
