So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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