the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
