Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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