But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
