my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
