I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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