writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
