Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
