meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dick very happy bro
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
