New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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