he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
