I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
