Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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