Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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