just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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