It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
