believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
