Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just tell him i said nine months
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
