I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
