She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
