We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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