The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
