HIV tests are more positive than that guy
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
