i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is my gift to your gina
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
