Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
