so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
