one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
