i just made my gag reflex go away.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
