I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
