I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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