Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
