Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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