today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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