Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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